Guest David Gomez

Advice on Girls thread

1,897 posts in this topic

feet do creep me the eff out but i don't want my feet to be all scratchy and catch on sheets/rub creepily on my dude's legs!

 

sorry matt. she sounds unintelligent. 

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All I wanted was to make out a tad. Is that so much to ask? Haha. We were both tipsy and hitting it off, so her putting the breaks on the whole thing sucked.

 

Supposedly she and her guy friend were in the process of "taking it to the next level" or so she told me afterward. But then I guess he was slutting around with other girls anyway.

 

Sounds like a perfect time to fool around if you ask me. But whatever.

Edited by Capricancerous

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I've been talking to my ex lately who lives across the country. She's in a pretty fragile place right now (dad died, went through a pretty bad drugs and alcohol phase and is in AA now). She asked if she can come visit me next weekend and i said yes. She bought her plane ticket and everything.

 

Meanwhile i've been hanging out with a coworker. I've been trying to be really careful around her because i didn't want to start drama at work or anything. Anyway, we went out this friday and she made a move on me so i went with it. We saw each other all day yesterday and today she sent me a text saying "want to take a nap later and take my clothes off?" (not relevant to the story but pretty awesome).

 

I really like this girl but i did already make plans to see my ex next weekend(plans were made before anything happened between me and the coworker). I'm pretty sure my ex bought a plane ticket with every intention to get down. I'm not exclusive with anyone right now but i can see myself getting serious with my coworker. my question is: Do i tell either one about the situation? If i tell the coworker, i might fuck everything up between us and work might get pretty awkward plus we're not exclusive but i still feel like a bit of a scumbag. If i tell my ex that we can't do anything i'm worried it'll fuck her up and she'll relapse or something. I'm thinking about just hanging out with my ex and trying to hold off on sex by telling her that she lives across the country and it wouldn't be a good idea to do anything that might make either one of us feel attached but at the same time, i don't want her to think moving back to california will give "us" a chance. 

 

also, i took 2 days off from work to hang out with my ex. i already told my coworker that i'm going camping when she asked what i'm doing. 

 

sidenote: my coworker is already looking for another job and i tried holding off on doing anything until she finds one but when she made a move i went with it because, friendzone. 

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You already told your coworker you're camping, so you're camping. Deal with your ex as you've planned, let her go home, then get back to work on coworker.

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I'd stay stick to your plan for sure, but it might not be a bad idea to bring up the school of thought that it isn't a good idea to sleep together to your ex. Be there for her emotionally and go out, have fun - but sex shouldn't be some non-negtiable part of the equation.

As long as she can follow your logic and you gently present the topic, I think it's a good move. Your coworker would feel pretty crummy if you guys end up dating and later she finds out about this. Ex drama sucks.

A similar thing happened with my last boyfriend - we went on an awesome first date and that same weekend his best friend (female) visited and they slept together. I felt pretty shitty when I found out about it. 

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Seriously one of the lamest things I've ever read in this thread, no offense. We're grown ups now, it's time you move past a smooch on the cheek. Just because she is shy doesn't mean she doesn't want you to grab her like a man and sweep her away.

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Tell her that she has something on her face and try to wipe it off. Then say "Oh, nevermind, that's hair."

Haha, this sounds like it's strictly a joke but might actually be the most tactful way to go about it.

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How do you tell the girl you've been dating for a month that she needs to shave the moustache hairs at the corners of her upper lip?

 

ughhh...I hate body hair on myself let alone fucking girls.

I can't help but look at the trainwreck when a girl has stomach hair, a moustache, sideburns, or armpit hair (even just stubbles).

 

One girl, in high school, would wear a belly shirt.

She had big boobs...but she also had more stomach hair than even one of the hairiest dudes in the clasroom, Brad, who said 'holy shit, she has more than me!'.

My whole table would laugh in horror a bit and we couldn't look away the whole time.

Great boobs, but fuuuuck

deal breaker.

It's like she was taunting us.

Would still fuck, I guess.

 

I dated girls only to feel their stomach hair that was way thicker than it should be.

ughhhhhhhahahahah WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!?

http://youtu.be/sGUkc9ajgiU

^Andy's reaction is exacty mine.

 

A ton of girls I work with that are pretty have moustaches/sideburns.

I honestly think that they have a blind spot where they focus so much on everything else where maybe they just don't see it.

I don't know how the fuck you could miss that. It would be one of the number 1 things I'd pay attention to if I was a girl. Even just for a day. I'd get that moustache out of the wayayay.

 

That's my big pet peeve: it bothers the shit out of me.

 

But yeah, a good mailbag for dating advice to read is Matt Ufford's Fantasy Football and Sex mailbag each Thursday.

I know someone mentioned the topic of asking a significant other to shave her moustache.

What they said is send her to have a facial done or a spa and it's on your tab.

But tell the people there to REALLY focus on her moustache and tell them to make an emphasis on that.

so, you know, you don't have to.

Edited by Cassidy

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haha that facial idea is actually really good... except how random would that be, "hey babe, I booked you a facial on me - I hear you women love those things."

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Put it under the veil of a "Spa Day" instead of going to get a facial. And yeah, what I said was totally a joke. You MAY be able to get away with that, but really unlikely.

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you could do this...

you know how if somebody draws a caricature they purposely exaggerate a certain feature (big nose; eyes; hair; lips, whatever) ?

 

well, get a caricature of yourselves together

but tell the guy beforehand that you want him to exaggerate her moustache hair

and pay extra for when she inevitably gets upset.

 

but it'll shame her into getting rid of the stache

Edited by Cassidy

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LOL that'd be fucked up. Spa day is better... more expensive, but better. haha that charicature thing would be hilarious. I would want to be there for that.

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These are all sound, logical ideas, yet I'm still leaning towards my initial inclination, which would be to simply tell her and get it over with. Someone mentioned earlier that since the ladies often have so much other, more important areas to pay close attention to, the corners of the upper lip become an area of diminished importance, which would explain why the micro-stache is still there and, granted, you can't really see it unless you're super close up. Still...Christ, I feel like I'm on an episode of Seinfeld. Whenever we're having sex, I'm trying not to look at it, but, in classic fashion, I get these visuals of a cinematic closeup shot moving in slow or cutting in three times with the soundtrack jumping each time the camera zooms. I also keep asking myself how the fuck she doesn't see it!? Especially because, while I am a pasty white man, she is a tanned, lovely woman with roots in South America. Her skin may as well be a highlighter. I am of Italian heritage so, stereotypically, I am hairy as a mo-fo. However, I am fucking meticulous when it comes to certain areas I like to keep groomed, especially MY FUCKING FACE!

 

Sigh. It's not really a big deal (I'm being a vain idiot). I really do think I should just come out and say it when I'm feeling ambitious. Any ladies care to weigh in on how I might go about this? I work for the board of education so I really can't afford to spend a couple hundred on something my razor can do in three ticks for free. The most disappointing aspect of this situation is the existence of the double standard. If she asked me to shave some errant hairs that were making her uncomfortable, I'd have those fuckers off in a jiffy. Flip that scenario around and I'm potentially opening up a veritable Pandora's Box of image conscious body issues. 

 

Also, the caricature thing...I feel like that is ripe for being filmed. Can you imagine her face when the artist reluctantly paints her face to look like Jeff Foxworthy? 

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