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Cassidy

Best Movies 2016

6 posts in this topic

Still need to see
Fences; Hidden Figures; Hypernormalisation; I Am Not Your Negro; Jackie; Live By Night; Loving; Toni Erdmann
Hate-watch Possibility?
Nocturnal Animals; Patriots Day
I guess
BFG; Bourne; Girl on the Train; Keanu; the Other Side; Passengers; Pete's Dragon
Probably not
Bad Santa 2; Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk; Bourne; Deepwater Horizon; the Founder; Hardcore Henry; Independence Day 2; Purge: Election Year; Snowden; Star Trek; Sully; Triple Nine; Warcraft; Why Him?; X-Men Apocalypse; Zoolander 2

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5 STARS (A+ range: instant classics)
-'the Nice Guys'-this should have spawned 10 sequels ASAP. 3rd act might not totally work, but fuck it. Anybody who prefers 'La La Land' over this is a commie and should go back to Russia. That makes no sense, but nor does liking 'La La Land' more than 'the Nice Guys'. Shane Black is the shit, Gosling's never been better, Crowe hasn't been as good in over a decade. And they both know they're in a great movie.
-'OJ: Made in America'-I'd say it's more of a TV series than a movie because it's 8 hours and who the hell would see that in theatres? I don't give a shit how many intermissions they give you, that's not happening. But it's probably the most 'important' movie of the year while being riveting and the best edited. Like, everybody knows about OJ and it's been killed to death: but there's so much more to it.
-'Manchester by the Sea'-sad white people movie. It's kind of a character-driven movie like 'Half Nelson' except substitute Ryan Gosling's character dealing with addiction with Casey Affleck's dealing with unimaginable grief. Both are sad movies, but they got humanity and hopefulness to it that I dig. But it doesn't give any easy answers.
-'Everybody Wants Some'-spiritual sequel to 'Dazed and Confused' except the characters are likable.
-'Sing Street'-like the music, love coming-of-age stories, and the older brother breaks my heart and is kind of like an Irish Chris Pratt.
-'Green Room'-cult classic. If it was JUST a movie about a punk band, I would be into that. But then neo-nazis get involved, and it becomes something cooler.
-'Weiner'-best political documentary? Unreal access to a trainwreck and embarrassing scandal happening midway through an election, but it's far more than that.

4 (A- range)
-'Deadpool'-half the jokes don't land, don't care. Most the humor in Marvel/DC/Star Wars movies are hacky and dumb. So I'll take this.
-'Edge of Seventeen'-wish Woody Harrelson was my dad
-'the Accountant'-best dumb movie of the year, still might be the best 'superhero' movie of the year alongside 'Deadpool'. Should have spawned a sequel since Zach Snyder's Batman-Superman was a tire fire.
-'Zootopia'-
-'Arrival'-it's fine. I like 'Sicario' (!) and 'Prisoners' better by Villeneuve. Movie looks cool, but beyond that, it's basically 'Contact'
-'13th'-It's a Netflix quality doc about something people pretty much already know if you live in America. Still effective and simple though.

3 1/2 STARS (B range: thrilled--but won't watch again)
-'Don't Breathe'-yeah, I put this in front of 'Moonlight' and 'La La Land' because fuck you, that's why. It's got better directing than you'd think.
-'Tickled'-ridiculous muckraking documentary about something really fucking weird (competitive endurance tickling) and it gets weirder and something unreal. the Dollop did a very early podcast on this. This should be developed into a comedy ASAP. Truth is stranger than fiction.
-'La La Land'-I enjoyed 'Whiplash' more even though this was more ambitious and had more going on. It's...just...the music really fucking sucked.
-'Moonlight'-not as good as I hoped, but I enjoyed the 3-act structure. It's kind of like a lesser, but tighter version of 'Boyhood' but with black people...and a better ensemble cast.
-'Hush'-Netflix horror movie: deaf person in a cat-and-mouse movie with a killer.
-'10 Cloverfield Lane'-survivalist movie and locked room possible mystery thing? I dig.
-'Conjuring 2'-I enjoy the previous movie better, but it's still all right.

3 Stars (B- range: rental movie quality)
-'Hell or High Water'-nowhere near as good as I hoped. Kind of a lesser 'No Country for Old Men' but with robbers. Loved Jeff Bridges' voice thing he was doing though and the old, surly waitress.
-'Captain America: Civil War'
-'Blood Father'-kind of like 'Taken' but with Mel Gibson.
-'American Honey'-way too long at 3 hours, but Shia is really great/grimey. 
-'Pop Star'-the 'fuck wolves' scene with Seal killed me. Might have to rewatch this to enjoy it more.
-'Doctor Strange'-it's basically Iron Man.
-'Star Wars: Rogue One'-the movie looks cool.
-'Midnight Special'-
-'Hunt for Wilderpeople'-

C+ (Meh-ish)
-'13 Hours: Benghazi'-it's a good bad movie.
--'Hacksaw Ridge'-Filmdrunk joked that the first 20 minutes feel like a fake movie trailer in 'Tropic Thunder'. It's funny when you view it that way.
-'Jungle Book'-
-'Don't Think Twice'-
-'War Dogs'-basically tries to be 'Goodfellas' but that shit just ain't happening. Jonah Hill is solid as a scumbag.

MEH SHIT (C-)
-'Jack Reacher 2'-well, this was a somewhat watchable piece of Tom Cruise shit. For the record, I'm cool with Cruise action movies. But he's out of place as Reacher and it doesn't work. And, man, the 2 female co-leads sucked.

1 1/2 stars (D+)
-'Allied'-Brad Pitt checked out.

1 STAR (F range)
-'Hail, Caesar!'-love the Coen brothers, but tone was off from the beginning. 15 minutes in, I realized this was just going to suck.

0 Stars for critic movies
-'the Lobster'-anybody who says this is the funniest movie of the year is a psychopath. It's dry humor/satire.
-'the Witch'-I really wish the people that liked this movie were to the naked 1000-year old old witch that is seen briefly. Also, the veracity of the language that is used makes it kind of unwatchable too. It's like reading 'Beowulf' in Old English. It's just stupid.

0 STARS FOR FUCK OFF: mainstream movies I knew were probably going to be shit, but I watched anyway
-'Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them'-Eddie Redmayne went full retard. Colin Farrell was boring. Look, I love Harry Potter and I wish I could just live in Harry Potter and I love it as much as anybo--...no, there's some big fucking nerds who LOVE Harry Potter, so I won't say that. But I knew they were going to fuck me when they made Redmayne the lead.
-'Batman vs Superman'-I watched the uncut version to give this a fair chance. Why did I do that? The Martha scene in the 3rd act is REALLY stupid and the single dumbest movie scene and twist of the year.
-Central Intelligence'-the Rock is kind of like Ron Burgundy when it comes to accepting movie roles: he will literally take any movie offer he gets. I genuinely believe that I could get him to be in a movie with me on my jerk-off couch watching movies.
-'Ghostbusters'-it's like the director purposely had everybody not be funny. Oh, Bill Murray comes in, finally a funny scene is going to happen. Nah, nothing. Hemsworth was the most enraging thing about this movie: when I thought he couldn't get any worse, he just kept getting worse.
-'Sausage Party'
-'Birth of a Nation'-Neal Brennan, paraphrasing, "If you're white, it should NEVER be your idea to suggest to a black friend, 'let's go see this movie about slaves'. For the record, my black friend wanted to see this piece of shit and I kept warning her that it was going to suck and just a miserable fucking experience for us both. It's the equivalent of me suggesting to see a super depressing Holocaust movie as a white dude.
-'Suicide Squad'-I don't know how Jared Leto is a thing and hasn't been fired into the sun, but then again: Donald Trump is our President, so there's that.

Funniest Random Thing I heard about a movie
-'La La Land'-heard on Filmdrunk Frotcast: someone was on a date with their girlfriend. Boyfriend leaves 30 minutes into the movie. 15 minutes later, girlfriend texts him, 'Where are you?' Boyfriend says, in all seriousness, 'I had to leave. I was crying and having a panic attack because the movie was so gay.' I saw the movie and the opening music scene DEFINITELY gave me that panic attack feeling. Also, I took a girl who had no idea we were watching a musical. She hated it for the first 40 minutes before loving it. I thought it was just okay.

FAVORITE SCENES/THINGS
-baby hands (Deadpool)
-disposing of body...or just nearly any scene really (Nice Guys)
-Seal & wolves (Pop Star)
-musical sequences (Sing Street)
-Jack Reynor monologue: "Once, I was a fucking jet engine!" (Sing Street)
-Michelle Williams-Casey Affleck meet on the street (Manchester by the Sea)
-how fucking surreal 'Weiner' is basically whole way through; sneaking in through restaurant to avoid porn star with wife (Weiner)
-Jeff Daniels' voice (Hell or High Water)

SHOULD BE IN MORE MOVIES
-Casey Affleck (Manchester by the Sea)-2007 was his breakout, but he went quiet

Breakthrough
-Glen Powell, Tyler Hoechner; Wyatt Russell (Everybody Wants Some!!)-I'm sure others in this movie will break out too
-kid actor (Midnight Special)
-Jack Reynor (Sing Street)
-Lucas Hedges (Manchester by the Sea)

Best Actor
Casey Affleck (Manchester by the Sea)
Ryan Gosling (Nice Guys)
Best Supporting Actor
Jack Reynor (Sing Street)
Best Supporting Actress
Michelle Williams (Manchester by the Sea)
Best Director
Kenneth Lonergan (Manchester by the Sea)
Best Screenplay
Kenneth Lonergan (Manchester by the Sea)

Edited by Cassidy

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I am shocked you have Hell Or High Water so low. Solid plot/story, great dialogue, wonderfully paced, amazing acting. Its right around the top for me so far. 

Edited by donwayneleach

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It takes so much to get me to go to the movies now. I have the worst luck with people talking / texting, and it really takes me out of the experience. 

That being said, I'm stoked for Arrival. Managed to avoid all the trailers and spoilers. Just gotta make it two more days!

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Tell me new movies to watch, I think I only really saw big movies and comedies (star trek, civil war, deadpool, Dr strange, jungle book, ghost busters, finding dory, x-men, brothers grimm, pop star and some other garbage like those). Thanks.

Edited by haverchuck

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